Ugly Bridesmaid Dress Of The Week

Ugliest Bridesmaid Dess Of The Week

Bitch, Please!

There are hundreds of acceptable bridesmaid gifts. But, there are two things you don’t give fake jewelry (i.e. crystals instead of diamonds)and work out gear.

Handing your bridesmaids “sweating for the wedding” tanks is nothing more than a slap in the face. You share your darkest secrets and hatreds about your body with your bridesmaids and now your gifting them questionable body image, self esteem, and a reevaluation of friendship? Bitch, Please!  When it comes to motivating someone to shape up for a wedding trust me the ill fittings and harsh lighting in taffeta hell will do the trick. The end! 

The EX & BF Have The Same Name … WTF

How many Johns, Adams, Brians, and Tylers can a girl date? Sure it’s convenient not to shout out the wrong name at the worst time ever. But, come on cupid! I’m just asking for one little chance not be an emotional cutter. If I meet one more John that breaks my heart I’m going to be forced to stop dating within what small piece of the eligible bachelor pool that is left in the Midwest. 

Word to the wise throw away exes with the trash. You’re too unique to recycle men or their names.

Ready to Run

Like your men like your coffee, Irish and Steamy. Until he can't afford to buy you coffee creamer. Then it's time to run! 

Be Ready To Run From Your Current Man If He ......

1.     If he calls you the same pet name as the ex
2.     If “your song” is the same as all the others
3.     If he refuses to let you met his family
4.     If he can’t ever spend the night
5.     If his friends are always right and yours are always wrong 
6. If he can’t meet your friends because they will prove his errors

7. If he forgets your Birthday, Christmas and Valentines Day*
8.If he stands you up
9. If he blows smoke in your face
10. If he can’t ever “finish” the job
11. If he can’t ever say thank you
12. If he can’t buy you coffee creamer
13. If he can’t ever say he’s sorry
14. If he can’t ever find the “spot”
15. If he can’t say I LOVE YOU

 * If he forgets all three do yourself a favor and buy him a membership to Match.com now!